Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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