I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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