You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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