CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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