i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
now i know why i became what i already was.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize