My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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