Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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