well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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