btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
