his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
we're so committed to being not committed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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