4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm at about main and main street
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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