i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
