Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
