I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
