tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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