Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
