theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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