woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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