Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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