Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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