I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
