wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize