we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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