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he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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