if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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