my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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