Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
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