It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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