we're blogging at a bar
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
