Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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