Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets