Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."