Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight