Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize