apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
