Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
