Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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