now i know why i became what i already was.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she told me i tasted like america
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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