I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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