so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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