I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!