I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
your room smells of hookers.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
My cat gives me a boner
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid