You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.