Moan for me like Helen Keller
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.