Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
