please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
the raccoons are back...
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