So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
