you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize