There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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