9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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