No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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