D3 body, D1 cock
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
