He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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