i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
