Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
