Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
