Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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