he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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